Gratitude in Real Life

One day a few weeks ago I had a radical thought. Me, Stephanie, a wife and mama to 5 decided that I was going to be intentional about operating in gratitude. I envisioned myself as one of those gracious women, that walk on air and their spirit of gratefulness and gratitude emanate from me. In that moment I had chosen to appreciate all of life, small and large. I had made up my mind that this is who I was going to be, and it was effective immediately. No, I wasn’t joking, but I may have been a bit delusional about the ease of it all…

The next morning I woke up late, my son missed the bus, someone almost left their shoe at home so I had to turn the van around to go back and get it. Nothing was going right and here I was, yelling at my kids because absolutely no one was listening.

I felt frustrated with myself, and to be honest I was pissed that the universe came at me and was so unforgiving.

After I had dropped off the last kid, I rang my best friend. Melissa is my level headed kid free bestie that I’ve known my entire life. She always has good advice and what seems like the patience of a saint. As soon as she picked up the phone I let out a “GIIIIRRRRRLLLLLLLL…..” (That’s the way I talk to her when I have some tea to spill…)

“Are you ok?” she inquired. I still had flames shooting out of my head as I went on a rant about my seriously jacked up morning. “All of this as soon as I declare that I’m going to operate in gratitude. It’s like the universe wants me to be an always fussing, glass-half empty type of mom!” I declared. She listened silently, taking in every word said and unsaid. When I finished and caught my breath, Melissa said:

“It’s funny how we put things out into the universe, and immediately get to test the waters. You put out that you wanted to operate in gratitude, and was immediately met with an opportunity to put it into action. Life isn’t always a bouquet of roses. Gratitude is not just for those sunny days when the weather is just right and there is a perfect cool breeze. Gratitude is for the rainy days, those times your car won’t start. Hell it’s for when you’re getting chased by a stray dog”. 

As I stared at the red stoplight in front of me, I took a deep breath and sighed. I knew Melissa was right.

It was so easy to get caught up in my frustration. I knew that I had to take a step back and look at things from a different lens. In that moment I thought about what I was grateful for; my best friend, always there and always keeping me grounded.

Over the next few days I began to take a moment everyday to appreciate life around me. I would pause from chasing my rambunctious, radical, and hard headed threenager around while trying to put on her socks and think to myself, “I am so grateful that I get to be her mama.” Even though she wasn’t listening, and was giving me a workout that I wasn’t prepared for, I could be real with myself that I was tired and now late, but I could also think back to my burning desire to have a sassy strong willed daughter, and now I have two!

It is not always easy to operate in gratitude when life starts…well…life-ing.

I find a gratitude journal to be very helpful in being intentional and holding myself accountable. When I feel angry or sad I force myself to find one thing to be grateful for. I know that it is a mindset that will take a while to completely submerge. For now I’m waist deep in, and enjoying the opportunity to challenge myself and grow.

I leave you with this challenge: for the next two weeks, write down something that you are grateful for every single day. Just one thing. Big or small. It’s nice to do this ritual in the morning or the evening. Try to do it at the same time every day. At the end of the two weeks, review your gratitude journal and take note of all that you have to be grateful for. You may be surprised!